Author: Misanthropic Hostess

Cue Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is about a month away. Yes a month.

While in college, I wrote a rather cynical article for the school newspaper about Valentine’s Day.  The article went on and on about the commercially incited evils of sending cards and chocolate and how when it comes to the big day, we are all pretty much damned if we do and damned if we don’t. Sometimes I wish I could go back and tell my 21-year-old self to lighten up a little.  Sheesh.

Yes, Valentine’s Day is ridiculous.  But, it is also fun.  If you take the serious out of it, Valentines Day can be a bright spot of pink and red glitter smack dab in the middle of what is often the dreariest month of the year.

It is with this spirit that I bring you a Valentine’s Day recipe that is a little off-beat. I’ll give you a hint.  Its main ingredients include this.

And this.

Intrigued? Curious? Thoroughly disgusted?  Stick with me.

When I began thinking about what kind of treats to post in preparation for Valentine’s Day, my mind went to ruby red grapefruit.  I happen to think it is pretty sexy; sweet, slightly bitter and that gorgeous pinky-orangish color.  Try saying it in French: pamplemousse rouge.  See?  Sexy!

So then I started thinking about what goes with grapefruit.  Immediately, my mind went to a salad I often serve during the winter months composed of red grapefruit, avocado, cucumber and shallot.  I happen to think the creamy nuttiness of avocado is an excellent counter for the sharp sweetness of grapefruit.  But…could it be made into a dessert?

The final piece of the puzzle fell into place when I spied the whoopie pie pan my Aunt Jullie sent us for Christmas.  Now before this, I’ve always done my whoopie pies freestyle like THIS.  However, January’s Bon Appetit magazine has a whole spread on the whoopie pie versus the French macaroon [sic–alas, this is how they spelled it throughout the article], so I figured now was as good a time as any to get professional with my pies.  And so, the Grapefruit Avocado Whoopie Pie was born.

Still not convinced?  Let me win you over.

The cake was inspired by the Lemon Whoopie recipe from Whoopie Pies: Dozens of Mix’em, Match ’em, Eat ’em Up Recipes by Billingsley and Treadwell (the book came with the pan).  My variation of the cake starts with a generous heap of grapefruit zest (I used Texas red grapefruit but use whatever toots your horn).

The zest gets incorporated into a buttermilk-based cake batter.

Even with the reddish zest, you can see the batter really wasn’t looking all that grapefruity.  Once upon a time I would have left well enough alone.  But then I started making French macarons which are, lets face it, the peacock of the petit fours.  If there is one thing I learned from the French macaron, it is that food coloring is not only my friend, but an important visual cue for taste.  So, I got out my hot pink food gel and colored half of my batter accordingly (note, I halved the recipe in these pictures).

While the batter tasted of grapefruit, the flavor was very subtle and I didn’t get that bitterness at the back of my tongue that I happen to like so much about grapefruit.  So, while the cakes were in the oven, I made a simple syrup of the ruby grapefruit juice and sugar.  As a side note, this syrup works well in cocktails with vodka and club soda.  Just so you know.

One of the cool things about whoopie pies is that they bake as quickly as cookies.  Twelve minutes and I had nearly a dozen ginormous pie halves.

Once out of the oven, I placed each still-hot cake on a cooling rack upside down.  I then poked several holes 3/4 of the way through the cakes and spooned about a teaspoon of the grapefruit syrup over cake.

While the cakes were cooling, I got busy with some avocado.  There are several recipes out there for avocado frosting/icing/filling.  However, all roads really lead back to an Alton Brown recipe.  A couple of avocados get beaten.

And then lemon juice, confectioner’s sugar and vanilla are creamed into the avocado.  The recipe is very simple and despite the ridiculous amount of sugar in it, the frosting has a nice mellow flavor.  After thinking about it for a couple of days, it struck me that at least to my taste buds, sweetened avocado tastes a little like banana.  This frosting is rather elastic and ploppy.  For this reason I let it rest in the fridge for an hour before loading it into a pastry bag to fill my cakes.

I realize that the color is interesting.  It looks a lot like the Kid’s Choice (or You Can’t Do That On Television if you are old school like me) slime.  But remember, we’re having fun with the day of love.  What says fun more than green slime?

I know that for many, Valentine’s Day wouldn’t be Valentine’s Day without chocolate.  And, I promise a chocolate recipe before the big day.  But, if your honey/brother/sister/best friend/ stranger-who-looks-like-they-could-use-a- Valentine’s-treat likes things a little wild, this might just do the trick.

Grapefruit Whoopie Pies with Avocado Filling

Grapefruit Cake inspired by the Lemon Whoopie recipe from Whoopie Pies: Dozens of Mix’em, Match ’em, Eat ’em Up Recipes

Frosting adapted from Alton Brown

Ingredients

Cake

  • 2.25 C all-purpose flour
  • 1.5 t baking powder
  • 1 t baking soda
  • .5 t salt
  • 4 T unsalted butter, room temp.
  • 4 T vegetable shortening
  • .5 C granulated sugar
  • .5 C packed golden brown sugar
  • 2 eggs
  • .5 C buttermilk
  • Grated zest of 1 grapefruit
  • 2 T fresh grapefruit juice
  • .5 t vanilla extract

Grapefruit Syrup

  • 1 C fresh grapefruit juice
  • 1 C granulated sugar

Avocado Frosting

  • 8 oz ripe avocado (about 2)
  • 2 t fresh lemon juice
  • 1 LB confectioner’s sugar
  • .5 t vanilla extract

To Make Cake

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

In a separate bowl, sift together flour, soda, powder and salt.  Set aside.  Using a standing mixer or electric mixer, cream butter, shortening and sugars until fluffy–2 or 3 minutes.  Beat in eggs one-at-a-time.  Mix in Zest, juice, vanilla and buttermilk.  Fold in flour mixture.  Spoon 2T of batter onto parchment-lined cookie sheets or oiled whoopie pie molds. Bake until cake springs back when touched–12-15 minutes.

While cakes are baking, combine 1 C each of grapefruit juice and sugar in a heavy saucepan.  Bring to boil and reduce to summer until sugar dissolves (do not stir).  Take off heat and set aside.

When cakes come out of the oven, let sit on pan for 5 minutes and then carefully flip and place each on a cooling rack, top-side-down.  Poke each cake about 3/4 of the way through several times with a bamboo skewer or toothpick.  Carefully spoon grapefruit syrup over each.

While cakes are cooling, mix-up filling.

Cream avocado until smooth (I mashed it with a fork guacamole style and then introduced the hand-mixer).  Cream-in lemon juice and then confectioners sugar and vanilla.  If the consistency is not to your liking, you can slowly add-in additional sugar until you get what you want.  Spoon or pipe filling onto half of the pie-cakes.  Top with remaining pie-cakes and WHOOOOPPPPIIEEEE!

Portuguese (or if you live on the West Coast, Hawaiian) Sweet Bread

Yes, I know it isn’t Thursday.  But, we missed the first Thursday of the month so I’m making up for lost time.  Consider this Saturday school.

One of my goals for the new year is to work my way through Peter Reinhart’s The Bread Baker’s Apprentice.  While I bought this book last summer, it sat on the shelf for a couple of months until I was reminded of its genius for last month’s Daring Bakers’ Stollen Challenge.

I don’t have much experience with bread.  But, I like to learn new things. It will just be you, me and a whole lot of yeast.

Because starting at the beginning is just so predictable, my first Peter Reinhart recipe comes from about 3/4 of the way through the book.  If you live near, have traveled on or have ever been within sniffing distance of the 405 freeway, you are most likely well-versed in the delicacy known as King’s Hawaiian Bread.  This eggy, slightly citrusy bread is fairly irresistible.  It’s fantastic with sandwiches, as french toast or as an addition (in roll form) to any celebration from summer BBQs to Thanksgiving dinner.

While plowing through the Bread Baker’s Apprentice, I was delighted to learn that what I know as Hawaiian bread really originated as Portuguese sweet bread.  I was also delighted that this bread would serve as my introduction to sponge.

Sponge is a wet pre-ferment, or levain levure en Francais.  The purposes are multiple but, if we are going for parsimony in description, a pre-ferment basically makes the final product taste better through all kinds of magic that happen between the yeast and flour.

In this recipe, the pre-ferment is quick, only a couple of hours.  It begins by mixing flour, sugar, yeast and some water into something that looks a lot like pancake batter.

You let it rest for an hour or two and the mixture rises and takes on some…wait for it…spongey qualities.

When all seems on the verge of collapse, it’s time to get boogying.  In a separate bowl, sugar and the fats are creamed together.

And then some eggs are added.  Once the eggs are beaten in, it’s sponge time.

To the now sponged-dough, flour and water are mixed in to create a soft dough.

Several minutes with a dough hook later and a lovely smooth dough results.

The dough is formed into a ball and left to rest in an oiled bowl for a couple of hours until it doubles in size.

Then it goes into a pie tin (starting to look familiar isn’t it?) for another nap.

Once the dough reaches the sides of the tin, it’s ready to go into the oven after an egg wash.  Because of the high sugar content, the crust of the resulting bread is dark brown and gorgeous.

And now comes the hard part.  It’s important to wait at least two hours before cutting the bread.  But, it’s worth it.  Soft, and sweet with a tender crust, this bread makes me wish I was Portuguese, or Hawaiian just so I could stake just a little heritage claim.

Portuguese Sweet Bread

The Bread Baker’s Apprentice

Peter Reinhart, 2001

Makes 2 round loaves

Note: I used the weighted measurements

Sponge

  • .5 C (2.25 oz) unbleached bread flour
  • 1 T (.5 oz) granulated sugar
  • 2.25 t (.25 oz) instant yeast
  • .5 C (4 oz) water, room temp

Dough

  • 6 T (3 oz) granulated sugar
  • 1 t (.25 oz) salt
  • .25 C (1.25 oz) powdered milk (DMS)
  • 2 T (1 oz) unsalted butter, room temp.
  • 2 T (1 oz) vegetable shortening
  • 2 large eggs (3.3 oz)
  • 1 t  (.17 oz) lemon extract
  • 1 t  (.17 oz) orange extract
  • 1 t  (.17 oz) vanilla
  • 3 C  (13.5 oz) unbleached bread flour
  • about 6 T (3 oz) water, room temp.

To make sponge

Stir together flour, sugar and yeast in a small bowl.  Add the water and stir until all ingredients are mixed into a smooth batter.  Cover the bowl with plastic wrap and ferment at room temp. for 60-90 minutes or until the sponge is foamy and on the verge of collapse.

To make dough

Combine the sugar, salt, powdered milk and fats into a 4-quart mixing bowl (or bowl of a standing mixer).  Cream together until smooth then add in eggs and extracts.  Switch to a dough hook or knead by hand and mix in sponge and flour, adding in water as needed to make a soft dough.  The dough will be very supple and easy to knead and not wet or sticky.  It will take 10-12 minutes with electric mixer or 15 minutes by hand.  Lightly oil a large bowl and transfer dough to bowl, rolling it to coat in oil.  Cover bowl with plastic wrap and let proof for two hours, until the dough doubles in size.

Remove the dough from the bowl and cut into two pieces.  Form each of the pieces into a boule (ball).  Lightly oil two 9-inch pie tins and place one boule, seam-side down in each.  Mist dough with oil and cover loosely with plastic wrap.  Proof dough two to three hours or until the dough fills the pans.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees, placing racks in center of the oven.

Gently brush boules with egg wash.

Bake the loaves for 50-60 minutes rotating 180 degrees halfway through for more even baking.  The dough will brown very quickly and get darker as the center gradually catches up with the outside.  Remove from tins and place on a rack to cool at least 90 minutes before slicing.

The Misanthropic Hostess sets some goals for 2011

Happy New Year!  I just love new beginnings.

Each year TD and I sit down on the last day of the last month and write out our goals for the coming year.  We don’t do resolutions; just categorical goals covering different parts of our lives.  For me, it is much more palatable to look forward to working towards something than away from it.

For this first time, I’ve included The Misanthropic Hostess in my goals for 2011.  I’ve kept them simple and attainable (I would be remiss if I were to ignore the SMART method).  And, I’ve kept them fun.  Of course the definition of fun in this context is operational and I make no assumptions that what I think is fun applies to anyone else (that is what your blogs as for).

2011 Goals for The Misanthropic Hostess

  1. Post at least four times each month.  Regular posting day: Thursday (we’ll count this post as a pre-post as there is no recipe to go with it).
  2. The last regularly scheduled post of each month will be for the Daring Bakers’ Challenge.  Since they set the reveal date, it may not always be on a Thursday.
  3. At least one of the four monthly posts will be from Peter Reinhart’s The Bread Baker’s Apprentice.  I bought this book last summer and have just now begun to explore its yeasty amazingness.
  4. To work one my photo skills (yeah I know, what photo skills).  I’ve upgraded my camera and while it is still a point and shoot, it does have manual controls.  I’ll know when this goal is obtained when I’ve gotten rid of the shadows, fuzzies and general poor composition that, let’s face it, are the current hallmark of my photos.
  5. To upgrade my website and technology knowledge.  I hired someone to set up this site and haven’t really explored the cool plug-ins and design options that can come with blogging.  I’m fairly certain that my near future includes a class at a local community college on website design/blogging/other stuff that I don’t understand.

So, I’ve got 12 months and 3 goals (really, goals #2 and #3 belong to goal #1).  And, because I like to start things out on the right foot, January is already in the bag.

Happy new year!

Triple-Ginger Cookies…They’re GREAT!

I’ve had ginger on the mind lately.  I think all the rain has had this spoiled California girl dreaming of warm sunny places and cool cocktails made of ginger and lime.

With rain in the forecast for tomorrow, that sunny beach I’ve been yearning for will have to wait (and really, we go to the beach sunny or not, it’s just a little harder to enjoy chilly cocktails when fending off chilly wind).  In the meantime, I think I’ve found a rainy-day-inclement-of-weather substitute in this month’s Bon Appetit. The triple-ginger cookie.

As its name suggests, this crispy snap presents a triple threat of ginger in powder, fresh and crystalized forms.  I found the crystalized root at Trader Joes but have also seen it at Whole Foods. Fresh ginger is usually available in the produce section of grocery stores and is easily peeled with a vegetable peeler.

With the exception of the fresh and crystalized gingers, there is a good chance that you already have the remainder of the ingredients in your pantry.  As a note, the recipe calls for a light-colored molasses.  I happened to have dark molasses in the pantry already and so didn’t want to buy a new jar.  So, I used dark.  The results were still delicious.

The recipe says to roll the balled dough in turbinado (or raw sugar).  So I did.

I also happened to have some Swedish pearl sugar on hand that was wanting for an excuse to be used.

So, I used some of that as well.

Of course, in the absence of either, a good roll in regular granulated sugar would work just fine.

In addition to making the house smell nearly as warm and tropical as my beach fantasies, the cookies themselves came out delicious.  Flat and slightly crispy, but also satisfyingly  chewy from the crystalized ginger chunks.  Tasty on their own, they would also make a great base for a key-lime pie crust.

Now if only that cabana boy would come around and refresh my hot cocoa…

Triple Ginger Cookies

Bon Appetit, January 2011

Ingredients

  • 2 C all purpose flour
  • 2 t baking soda
  • 1.5 t ground ginger
  • 1 t ground cinnamon
  • .5 t ground cloves
  • 1 C sugar
  • 3/4 C solid vegetable shortening
  • .5 C mild-flavored molasses
  • 1 large egg
  • 2 t minced peeled fresh ginger
  • .25 C chopped crystallized ginger
  • raw/turbinado sugar for rolling

Preheat oven to 350, line baking sheets with parchment.

Whisk together flour, soda and dry spices.  Set aside.  Using an electric or stand mixer with paddle attachment, cream butter and sugar until light and fluffy.  Beat in molasses, egg and fresh ginger.  Stir in crystallized ginger and dry ingredients.

Fill shallow bowl with sugar.  Shape dough into balls of desired size.  Place on prepared sheets at least two inches apart (cookies will spread quite a bit).  Bake cookies until golden and dry-looking; about 15 minutes.

Note: these cookies will freeze well in an air-tight bag or container.

Christmas Stollen: my first Daring Bakers’ challenge

December was my Daring Bakers’ maiden voyage.  Yes, there was champagne and confetti (though this is the way it always is around my house, so, the part about it being my first challenge was just a coincidence).

The Daring Kitchen is an online community of bloggers who “get together” each month and make a challenging baked good.  It’s very cloak and dagger.  Even though we get the recipe at the beginning of the month, it’s all hush hush until the reveal day when everyone presents the challenge via their blog.

The 2010 December Daring Bakers’ challenge was hosted by Penny of Sweet Sadie’s Baking.  She chose to challenge Daring Bakers’ to make Stollen.  She adapted a friend’s family recipe and combined it with information from friends, techniques from Peter Reinhart’s book and Martha Stewart’s demonstration.

My first thought when the challenge was unveiled was, “kowabunga dude!”  My second: wait…stollen?  What is stollen?  And now I’v revealed that I don’t have a German bone in my body.

Stollen is sort of a fruity desserty holiday bread.  Yes, it’s a bread.

Okay fine. It’s fruit cake.  But not the nasty kind.

The yeast-based dough is slightly sweet, filled with fruit, candied citrus peel, slivered almonds and often, marzipan. And, as soon as I got to the citrus zest on the ingredients list, I was a convert.

Citrus zest and spices are added to a basic egg-based yeast dough recipe.

Then the real fun begins.  What goes in to one’s stollen is quite personal.  A quick peek into my pantry revealed that I happened to have dried cranberries and cherries on hand.  I re-hydrated these in some orange juice.  They were then joined by some candied orange peel I’d made the day before and slivered almonds.

Some time with the dough hook and my little bun was ready to proof over night in the fridge.

A day of grading BUAD-495 final papers and a visit to the dentist later, my dough and I were ready to get boogying.  Out of the fridge and another two hours of proofing yielded an impressive and insanely good-smelling bowl of dough.

Traditional stollen is made in loaf form (it is supposed to look like a swaddled baby Jesus).  However, those Daring Bakers’ are a little on the fancy side, so this recipe had the dough going the distance in the form of a wreath.  After a good-natured punching down, the dough was rolled thin.

And I added a rope of homemade marzipan.  I’m not including a link for the marzipan yet because I’m not entirely confident that I’ve mastered the recipe. More to come on my meanderings with marzipan.

Next, my dough and marzipan got tolled up into a big, fat, heavy log.

To get the log into wreath shape, I lined a baking sheet with parchment and placed a heat-proof bowl in the center. Then, I wrapped the dough log around the bowl, pinching the ends together.  This was followed by some snips to further articulate the wreath-shape.

Some more proofing commenced and then, into the oven until the dough was dark-golden.

But, we’re not done yet.  While still hot, I slathered the bread with alternating layers of melted butter and powdered sugar to form a sort of icing/preserver.  Speaking of preservers, the wreath was easily large enough to be utilized as a life preserver.

.

I wrapped-up the cooled wreath and let it cure for a couple of days (this was very, very difficult to do).  After the 48-hour waiting period, we had arrived at the moment of truth.

If loving fruitcake is wrong, I don’t want to be right.

TD said it tasted like raisin bread.  However, most raisin bread isn’t  blanketed in a layer of crunchy yet tender icing.  This is not a light bread.  It is an eat a couple of pieces and then climb the Matterhorn sort of bread.  But with some patience, it was really fun to make.  A perfect first challenge for this virgin Daring Baker!

Stollen

Daring Bakers’ Challenge

Ingredients

  • ¼ cup (60ml) lukewarm water (110º F / 43º C)
  • 2 packages (4 1/2 teaspoons) (22 ml) (14 grams) (1/2 oz) active dry yeast
  • 1 cup (240 ml) milk
  • 10 tablespoons (150 ml) (140 grams) unsalted butter (can use salted butter)
  • 5½ cups (1320 ml) (27 ozs) (770 grams) all-purpose (plain) flour (Measure flour first – then sift- plus extra for dusting)
  • ½ cup (120 ml) (115 gms) sugar
  • ¾ teaspoon (3 ¾ ml) (4 ½ grams) salt (if using salted butter there is no need to alter this salt measurement)
  • 1 teaspoon (5 ml) (6 grams) cinnamon
  • 3 large eggs, lightly beaten
  • Grated zest of 1 lemon and 1 orange
  • 2 teaspoons (10 ml) (very good) vanilla extract
  • 1 teaspoon (5 ml) lemon extract or orange extract
  • ¾ cup (180 ml) (4 ¾ ozs) (135 grams) mixed peel (link below to make your own)
  • 1 cup (240 ml) (6 ozs) (170 gms) firmly packed raisins
  • 3 tablespoons (45ml) rum
  • 12 red glacé cherries (roughly chopped) for the color and the taste. (optional)
  • 1 cup (240 ml) (3 ½ ozs) (100 grams) flaked almonds
  • Melted unsalted butter for coating the wreath
  • Confectioners’ (icing) (powdered) sugar for dusting wreath

Directions:

Soak the raisins
In a small bowl, soak the raisins in the rum (or in the orange juice from the zested orange) and set aside. See Note under raisins.

To make the dough

Pour ¼ cup (60 ml) warm water into a small bowl, sprinkle with yeast and let stand 5 minutes. Stir to dissolve yeast completely.

In a small saucepan, combine 1 cup (240 ml) milk and 10 tablespoons (150 ml) butter over medium – low heat until butter is melted. Let stand until lukewarm, about 5 minutes.

Lightly beat eggs in a small bowl and add lemon and vanilla extracts.

In a large mixing bowl (4 qt) (4 liters) (or in the bowl of an electric mixer with paddle attachment), stir together the flour, sugar, salt, cinnamon, orange and lemon zests.

Then stir in (or mix on low speed with the paddle attachment) the yeast/water mixture, eggs and the lukewarm milk/butter mixture. This should take about 2 minutes. It should be a soft, but not sticky ball. When the dough comes together, cover the bowl with either plastic or a tea cloth and let rest for 10 minutes.

Add in the mixed peel, soaked fruit and almonds and mix with your hands or on low speed to incorporate. Here is where you can add the cherries if you would like. Be delicate with the cherries or all your dough will turn red!

Sprinkle flour on the counter, transfer the dough to the counter, and begin kneading (or mixing with the dough hook) to distribute the fruit evenly, adding additional flour if needed. The dough should be soft and satiny, tacky but not sticky. Knead for approximately 8 minutes (6 minutes by machine). The full six minutes of kneading is needed to distribute the dried fruit and other ingredients and to make the dough have a reasonable bread-dough consistency. You can tell when the dough is kneaded enough – a few raisins will start to fall off the dough onto the counter because at the beginning of the kneading process the dough is very sticky and the raisins will be held into the dough but when the dough is done it is tacky which isn’t enough to bind the outside raisins onto the dough ball.

Lightly oil a large bowl and transfer the dough to the bowl, rolling around to coat it with the oil. Cover the bowl with plastic wrap.
Put it in the fridge overnight. The dough becomes very firm in the fridge (since the butter goes firm) but it does rise slowly… the raw dough can be kept in the refrigerator up to a week and then baked on the day you want.

Shaping the Dough and Baking the Wreath

1. Let the dough rest for 2 hours after taking out of the fridge in order to warm slightly.
2. Line a sheet pan with parchment paper.
3. Preheat oven to moderate 350°F/180°C/gas mark 4 with the oven rack on the middle shelf.
4. Punch dough down, roll into a rectangle about 16 x 24 inches (40 x 61 cms) and ¼ inch (6 mm) thick.

Starting with a long side, roll up tightly, forming a long, thin cylinder.  Transfer the cylinder roll to the sheet pan. Join the ends together, trying to overlap the layers to make the seam stronger and pinch with your fingers to make it stick, forming a large circle. You can form it around a bowl to keep the shape.  Using kitchen scissors, make cuts along outside of circle, in 2-inch (5 cm) intervals, cutting 2/3 of the way through the dough. Twist each segment outward, forming a wreath shape. Mist the dough with spray oil and cover loosely with plastic wrap.

Proof for approximately 2 hours at room temperature, or until about 1½ times its original size.
Bake the stollen for 20 minutes, then rotate the pan 180 degrees for even baking and continue to bake for 20 to 30 minutes. The bread will bake to a dark mahogany color, should register 190°F/88°C in the center of the loaf, and should sound hollow when thumped on the bottom.

Transfer to a cooling rack and brush the top with melted butter while still hot.
Immediately tap a layer of powdered sugar over the top through a sieve or sifter.
Wait for 1 minute, then tap another layer over the first.
The bread should be coated generously with the powdered sugar.
Let cool at least an hour before serving. Coat the stollen in butter and icing sugar three times, since this many coatings helps keeps the stollen fresh – especially if you intend on sending it in the mail as Christmas presents!

When completely cool, store in a plastic bag. Or leave it out uncovered overnight to dry out slightly, German style.

Storage
The more rum and the more coatings of butter and sugar you use the longer it will store.
The following is for the recipe as written and uses the 45 mls of rum and two coatings of butter and icing sugar
1. Stollen freezes beautifully about 4 months
2. The baked stollen stores well for 2 weeks covered in foil and plastic wrap on the counter at room temperature and
3. One month in the refrigerator well covered with foil and plastic wrap.

Candied citrus peel

I love oranges.  Navel, blood, tangerines, mandarines, tangelos–love them all. We even used an orange motif (both the fruit and the color)  to tie our wedding together.

Table number: My mom; Photo Credit: Betwixt Studio

So, when a recipe I was making called for candied citrus peel, I jumped at the chance to make my own.  I researched several recipes and finally chose the one below from the Food Network kitchens.

This recipe would work with any thick-skinned citrus fruit. I used some giant–and very juicy navels for this recipe.

The peeling part is easy.  Lop of the top and bottom of the orange. Then, score the peel into quarters and peel (and if you are me, have flashbacks of that one year I played soccer as a child).  I saved the juice from the fruit for another recipe.

Then the peels get cut into strips and blanched three times–Julius Caeser style. The blanching softens up the pith.

Once the peels are blanched, a simple heavy syrup gets made.  And yes, a candy thermometer is used.

When the syrup reaches the correct temp, in go the peels.

Where they simmer for about an hour–or until the peels become transparent.

Then out of the syrup and into the sugar.

Once sufficiently dusted with the sweet stuff, the peels are dried over night on cooling racks.  The final product is sweet and zesty with just a bit of bite.

I will definitely be making these for the holidays next year, dipped in chocolate and wrapped in clear cellophane.  Italy dusted in sugar!

Candied Orange Peel

Food Network Kitchens

  • 6 thick-skinned oranges
  • 4.5 C sugar for extra for rolling
  • 1.5 C water

Cut tops and bottoms off of the orange and score the orange into quarters, cutting down only into the peel and not into the fruit. Peel the skin and pith of the orange in large pieces, use the orange for another recipe. Cut the peel into strips about .25-inch wide. Put the orange peel in a large saucepan with cold water to cover, bring to aboil over high heat. Then pour off the water. Repeat 1 or 2 more times depending up how assertive you want the orange peels to be. (Test kitchen liked the texture of a 3 time blanch best, it also mellowed the bitterness. But it is a matter of preference.) Remove the orange peels from the pan.

Whisk the sugar with 1.5 cups water. Bring to a simmer and cook for 8 to 9 minutes (If you took the sugar’s temperature with a candythermometer it would be at the soft thread stage, 230 to 234 degrees F.) Add the peels and simmer gently, reducing heat to retain a simmer. Cook until the peels get translucent, about 45 minutes. Resist the urge to stir the peels or you may introduce sugar crystals into the syrup. If necessary, swirl the pan to move the peels around. Drain the peels, (save the syrup for ice tea.) Roll the peels in sugar and dry on a rack, for 4 to 5 hours. Return to the sugar to store.

The Misanthropichostess welcomes you to Mr. Robinson’s neighborhood

Well, really, it’s Mr. Chang’s neighborhood.  As in David Chang of Momofuko Milk Bar (I say that like I’ve been there…which I haven’t).

Several months ago I started “hearing” about something called crack pie.  Further research determined that crack pie is actually a baked good made at Milk Bar that is so good, people willingly pay $40 for it.  If my ninth grade geometry is correct, this means that people are happily shelling out around 30 cents for each cubic inch of a 9 inch pie.  For context, a Marie Calendar’s pie runs about $15 or about 12 cents a cubic inch.  Of course, the price tag is simply an indicator of how good this pie supposedly is.  Pair an addictive substance with an individual’s willingness to pay outrageous prices for it and I get it: Crack Pie.

So of course I had to see what the big deal was.  I had to make some.  In bar form.

Luckily, there are a couple of recipes for the stuff floating around out there.  I settled on one from the Los Angeles Times.

First things first:  a review of the recipe revealed that the pie does not actually contain crack.  This was quite a relief to me as I was planning to bring the bars to work and really didn’t want to have to go through an after-school special type scenario with human resources.  I will warn you though, what this recipe lacks in crack it makes up for in butter.  Nearly a pound of the stuff goes into two pies (or in my case, one 9X13 pan of bars).  By comparison, my favorite super rich brownie recipe only calls for half the butter for the same yield.

Everything starts off innocently enough with an oatmeal cookie base.

For me, there is a certain amount of pleasure in making one giant cookie.

Once cooled, the cookie gets crumbled and has a party with some sugar and of course, more butter.

This is then pressed into your tin or pan of choice and becomes the pie’s crust.

As the crust rests, butter, eight (you read that right) eggs yolks, sugar and another cup of butter come together to make the filling.

And then into the oven.

What comes out is something that now knowing what goes into the recipe, I could never make for someone I liked in good faith.  Elmo talks about sometimes foods.  This is kind of a “once a year and then call your cardiologist” food.  They really are criminally rich and gooey.  There is a good chance that Whitney Houston would in fact, think they are whack.

Though unfortunately named (though maybe more enticing than “heart attack pie”), crack pie is true to its title.  It is verry verry good.  If not, verry verry bad for you.

And maybe, just maybe, while horribly politically incorrect, if Eddie Murphy had ever discussed baked goods in his SNL Mr. Robinson skits, this would have been his weapon of choice.

I’m going to link to the original recipe here instead of listing it because other than making it in bar rather than pie form, I’ve made no changes to the original.

Crack Pie

Freezer snob(less) orange cranberry shortbread

In my holiday baking each year, I try to include a little something for everyone.  There is always the sweet.  And the nutty.  And the chocolatey.  And the simple.  These profiles are easy.  It’s the fruity I struggle with a little.  In years’ past, the jam thumbprint has served me well.  But, as solid as that recipe is, I feel it’s a little played-out.  This year my search for fruity brought me to a simple cranberry-orange shortbread.  Well actually, I decided I wanted to do something with cranberries and orange and then found a recipe to match.

And, it’s a good one.

Here’s why.  You can make the dough, roll it into a log and freeze it for a couple of weeks.  Then when you are ready, all you do is defrost, slice and bake.  Okay, okay, I realize this is not a novel concept.  Yes, I know, there is an entire category of treats called, “Icebox Cookies.”  But, I have to admit, until this year, I was a bit of a freezer snob when it came to baked goods.  I always thought freezing dough—either before or after baking would compromise the taste.  And, for some recipes it does.  So, this was my Betty Crocker modern housewife experiment.  You know what?  It worked.

I made a double batch, rolled out the logs, wrapped each in parchment, wrapped the whole lot in plastic, then freezer bagged everything and into the freezer the dough went.  For a month.

Last weekend, at the very end of my baking, I pulled out the dough and let it defrost while the oven was pre-heating.  Never one to pass up the opportunity to add glitter to a project, I rolled the dough in white sanding sugar first.

Because really, do you know anyone who doesn’t like sparkles?

Then, I sliced them up and into the over they went.

Ten minutes later, I had a light, crumbly, fruity addition to my holiday cookie menagerie.

Their uniform shape and depth would make the orange shortbread cookies an excellent candidate for clear cellophane bags.  You could also make a variation or two and line them up neatly in a cute box.

This recipe is straight out of Southern Living.  The only thing I added was the sanding sugar.  I think those Southern Belles would approve.

Cranberry-Orange Shortbread Cookies

Southern Living, December 2009

Yield: Makes 4 dozen

Ingredients

  • 1  cup  butter, softened
  • 3/4  cup  powdered sugar
  • 1/2  cup  chopped dried cranberries
  • 1  tablespoon  orange zest
  • 2  teaspoons  vanilla extract
  • 1/2  teaspoon  almond extract
  • 2  cups  all-purpose flour
  • 1/4  teaspoon  baking powder
  • 1/8  teaspoon  salt
  • Wax paper

Preparation

1. Beat 1 cup softened butter at medium speed with an electric mixer until creamy. Gradually add 3/4 cup powdered sugar, beating until smooth. Stir in chopped cranberries, orange zest, vanilla extract, and almond extract until blended.

2. Stir together 2 cups flour, 1/4 tsp. baking powder, and 1/8 tsp. salt.

3. Gradually add flour mixture to butter mixture, beating at low speed until blended.

4. Shape shortbread dough into 2 (7-inch) logs. Wrap each log in wax paper, and chill 4 hours, or freeze logs in zip-top plastic freezer bags up to 1 month.

5. Preheat oven to 350°.

6. If frozen, let logs stand at room temperature 10 minutes. Cut each log into 24 slices. Place shortbread slices 1 inch apart on lightly greased or parchment paper-lined baking sheets.

7. Bake shortbread slices at 350° for 10 to 12 minutes or until edges of slices are golden.

8. Remove shortbread from baking sheets, and place on wire racks; let cool completely (about 20 minutes). Store in airtight containers.

My new hero…at least for today

I’m sorry Michelle Rhee, just for the afternoon, Denise Vivaldo is going to have to be my hero.  If you are a Fan of Cake Wrecks, you’ve already seen this.  If not, the following is my holiday gift to you. Remember, I’ve never, ever claimed to be the bigger, more mature person.  Especially when it comes to Sandra Lee.

Happy Holidays

Though…I will admit…I now might be just a little tiny bit inspired to develop a Festivus Cake.

(insert your favorite nut here) toffee

If, by some remote chance you happen to be my Aunt Kris, please stop reading now.  Every year about this time, TD and I wait in hungry anticipation for a package with a Santa Maria, CA postmark to arrive so that we can demolish the wrapping and dive into the tin of my Aunt Kris’  homemade almond toffee.  More than once TD and I have nearly come to physical blows over the last little crumbly bits stuck to the bottom of the bag (because really, what says holiday season more than boxing for caramelized sugar detritus).

After much begging, cajoling and general harassment from TD,  I’ve finally  figured out how to make it myself.  But, don’t tell my Aunt Kris because while I may have cracked the crackle code, I still prefer hers.

Since the original maker of this crunchy delight is my Aunt Kris and not yours (unless you are my brother), she probably doesn’t send you any.  So, I’ll show you how to make your own.  And, if your name is Kris, perhaps you can start a holiday tradition by sending it to your niece and her husband.

I’m not sure where I found the original recipe but was able to hunt-down a comparable one on Sunset magazine’s website.  Do not be afraid of the candy thermometer.  If you find the need for a thermometer daunting, think of it this way: they sell them in grocery stores.  If normal people weren’t meant to use them, they wouldn’t have them out right next to the bamboo skewers and disposable muffin tins.  Would they?

This recipe starts with a heavy saucepan, said thermometer, sugar, butter and water.  Put items two through four into item number one and turn on the burner to medium.

While the sugar is working on its chemistry, go ahead and toast up some of your favorite nuts.  This year I made separate batches with pecans and almonds.  When the nuts are toasted and cool to the touch, give them a rough chop.  You can do it by hand, but it’s very quick in a food processor or mini-prep.

Now it is time to sit back and watch the pot boil.

And boil.  While you are waiting, make sure your pan and nuts are at the ready (yeah, yeah, that’s what she said).

Once everything is nice and golden brown and the smell nearly drives you mad with its buttery goodness AND the thermometer reads 310, remove the pan from the heat and stir in the chopped nuts using a wooden spoon.  At first, the caramel will be angry but quickly calm down.

Now, take a deep breath and carefully, pour out the caramely, nutty, super-hot liquid into your pan.

Before the next step, the toffee needs a bit of a cooling-off period.  In my case, this means it is time to clean the burner (there may or may have not been a tiny little fire caused but some stray sugar with one of the batches.  But, I’m not talking and you can’t prove anything).

The final step starts with what all good final steps should begin with: chocolate.

Give it a chop and then into a double boiler it goes to slowly melt.  Once your toffee is cool to the touch and your chocolate is melted, spread an even layer of the chocolate over the surface of the toffee.  An off-set spatula works well for the job.  The instructions in the recipe below say to refrigerate at this point but I don’t.  I like to let the chocolate cool at room temperature so that it doesn’t bloom and give me gray chocolate.

With the chocolate set, the  real fun begin as you get to break-up the toffee (I do it by hand but a little hammer could be fun too).  This recipe makes a generous batch–which is genius because I predict only about half of every batch ever gets to its intended destination.

The great thing  about this recipe is that it will last a good month if properly stored.  This means that you can make this well in advance of the holiday push.  Of course, this also means that you will have it around the house…which is probably why my dentist owns my soul.

Nut Toffee

Slightly adapted from Sunset Magazine

Yield: Makes 1 pan (10 by 15 in.); 40 pieces (serving size: one 2- by 2-in. square)

Ingredients

  • 2  cups  pecan halves
  • 3 1/2  cups  sugar
  • 1 1/2  cups  butter
  • 1  teaspoon  salt
  • 1  tablespoon  vanilla extract
  • 12  ounces  bittersweet chocolate
  • 2  teaspoons  fleur de sel (see Notes) or coarse sea salt

Preparation

1. Preheat oven to 350°. Put nuts on a rimmed baking sheet and cook, stirring occasionally, until toasted, about 8 minutes. When cool enough to handle, chop roughly. Divide into 2 batches; chop 1 batch finely. Set both batches aside.

2. Put sugar, butter, salt, and 3/4 cup water in a 4-qt. saucepan over medium heat. When butter and sugar are melted, increase heat to medium-high and cook, stirring occasionally, until mixture is deep golden brown and measures 310° on a candy thermometer, about 20 minutes. Remove from heat and carefully stir in vanilla (mixture will bubble up) and finely chopped pecans. Pour into a 10- by 15-in. rimmed baking sheet. Let toffee cool until set, at least 30 minutes.

3. Chop chocolate and melt in a double boiler. Pour over toffee; with a knife or offset spatula, spread evenly. Sprinkle chocolate with roughly chopped pecans. Let sit 20 minutes, or until chocolate is cool but still a bit soft. Sprinkle with fleur de sel. Chill until set, about 1 hour.

4. To remove, gently twist pan to release toffee, then chop or break into chunks. Store in an airtight container.