I warn ya, this one is all over the place, folks!

TD was in charge of the holiday cards this year.  And, he did an awesome job that left little doubt about who designed it. TD may have abandoned his former heterosexual life partner, Albert Pujols; but, the dude still loves him some Cardinals. And yes, I’m pretty sure he actually purchased the image.  Right TD?  Right?

Opting for the popular flat card version, TD even ventured into the holiday letter genre.  Hell really has frozen over.

I motion that TD is in charge of holiday cards going forward.  All in favor?

When all members of your immediate family live out-of-state, the holidays are generally all-or-nothing.  And, because we were lucky enough to spend time with both families in the last six months, this was a “nothing” year.  Which means we were left to our own devices.  Said devices resulted in the following.

Device #1:  Super tacky ghetto tree

Sometimes, good intentions go horribly,  wrong.  See, doing a Christmas tree in our house always presents a challenge.  We have one of those typical South Bay/Beach Cities “tall and skinny” townhouses.  So, while the tree would look best in the dining/sitting room on the first floor, we spend the vast majority of our “down-time” in the third floor loft (where there isn’t room for a tree).  The last couple of years I  bought and subsequently killed (not on purpose) rosemary bushes meant to serve as tree proxies.  Since I’m definitely anti-herb violence,  this year, I bought what I thought would be a really cool spirally-copper-tree deal.

For years I’ve been collecting hand-glown glass ball ornaments from an artist who sells (his? her?) work at a little gallery in Bozeman Montana called Altitude.  Some were given as gifts and others TD and I collected on our trips to Montana.  When it became clear that I’d probably never have enough balls to decorate a whole tree, I took a class in glass blowing and made some of my own (mine aren’t even in the same league…in fact, they aren’t even playing the same sport as the professionally made ones…mine aren’t even really round).  In addition to giving TD hours of comedic material about his wife, balls, and blowing,  the results also help fill-out the collection.  Anyhow, on their own, the glass balls displayed on the copper spiral looked really nice.  But then, I added lights.  And of course, Penelope, the peacock tree topper had to be added along with a scarf I picked up in Lijiang China as the tree skirt.  The result: Liberace called and wants his Christmas tree back.  TD and I even made up a song for it.

Device #2: A shot for Santa

We’re just those kind of people.  And, well, we may or may not have been drinking martinis on Christmas Eve.  Obviously Santa needed it because all we found Christmas morning is what you see in the photo.

Device #3: Ceremonial Holiday PJs

Yes, I mean ceremonial.  Not traditional.  To be worn only on Christmas morning as part of the hallowed act of opening gifts.

Device #4: Christmas Donuts

Ceremonial PJs and a tacky tree create optimal conditions for a Christmas donut or two.

Device #5: Sherlock Holmes

Not pictured here, but, despite what the critics are saying, TD and I agree that the second one was a particularly enjoyable mid-Christmas afternoon break.  Of course, Jude Law and Robert Downey Jr. could be in a remake of Gigli and I’d enjoy it.  What?

Device #6:  A Christmas Story inspired dinner

Here is the short of it.  We had dinner reservations at a fairly decent seafood/chop house.  We waited very patiently for 20 minutes after being seated with nary a drink order, while wait staff, bussers and probably a manager or two walked by the table several times.  Neither one of us were really in the mood to deal with it, so we walked.

Turning up on our street we noticed that a certain Mexican restaurant of dubious distinction happened to be open.  Now, we’ve lived in our neighborhood for five years, have eaten there twice. Our conclusion was that it’s got to be a front for some sort of illegal activity because it’s always packed but the food is crap.  However, very recently not one (hi JP!) but two people explained that you don’t really go there to eat.  You go there for the margaritas…sort of like El Coyote on Beverly.  We interpreted the confluence of this new information with the fact that it was actually abierto on Christmas night and enjoyed a fantastic (well, at least it was fantastic after a couple of drinks) meal with an awesome waiter.

While this isn’t what Christmas looks like for us every year, all in all, not too shabby.

Oh…and what did I get you for the holidays you ask? I updated the  INDEX!

And, a hint for next week.  Happy New Year!!!

This recipe has been haunting me since I bought Dorie Greenspan’s Baking, from my home to yours.  You see, it graces the book’s cover.  And so, every time I pull out the volume, there is it, daring me to find an excuse to make it.  And so, I did, and I did.

Not really one of those cakes you can throw together on a whim, what this recipe calls for in patience makes up for in specialness.  Chocolate-studded devil’s food cake surrounded in layers of pillowy, sticky marshmallow fluff.

Sold yet?

How about now?

I have to admit, that’s all you are going to get in the photo department.  I made this cake the week of Thanksgiving for company and because of all the other plates I happened to be spinning at the time, made the cake late one night and then the frosting the next night.  And we all know about my kitchen in lighting.

But, you’ll have to trust me when I tell you how much fun the frosting is to make and what a delight it was to work with in decorating.  One piece of advice: read through the entire recipe a couple of times before diving in.  It took me a couple of passes to actually conceptualize where Ms. Greenspan was going with the recipe.

Devil’s Food White-Out Cake

adapted ever so slightly from Baking from my kitchen to yours, Dorie Greenspan

Cake Ingredients

• 1  1/2 C all purpose flour
• 1/2 C unsweetened cocoa powder
• 1/4 tsp baking soda
• 1/2 tsp baking powder
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 1 1/4 (10 TBS) unsalted, room temp butter
• 1/2 C packed light brown sugar
• 1/2 C sugar
• 3 large eggs, room temp
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• 2 ounces bittersweet chocolate, melted and cooled
• 1/2 C buttermilk at room temp
• 1/2 C boiling water
• 4 ounces semisweet or milk chocolate, chopped or 2/3 C mini chocolate chips

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Butter and flour 2, 8X2 inch round cake pans (use regular flour or cocoa).  Line each with parchment, place pans on baking sheet.
2. Sift together flour, cocoa, baking soda, baking powder and salt.
3. Using a stand mixer with paddle or a hand mixer, beat butter until soft and creamy.  Add sugars and beat an additional 3 minutes.
4. Add-in eggs one-at-a-time, beating 1 minute in between.  Beat-in vanilla.
5. Reduce speed and add-in cooled chocolate.
6. Alternating with the buttermilk, add-in dry ingredients in 3-parts, starting and ending with the dry ingredients.
7. Working on low-speed, mix-in the water.  Scrape-down the bowl and fold in the chocolate.  Divide the batter evenly into pans and smooth the tops with a rubber spatula.
8. Bake 25-30 minutes rotating pans halfway through until an inserted toothpick comes up clean.
9. Cool on racks for 5 minutes.  Run a knife around the perimeter of pans and unmold.  Cakes can be stored if wrapped-airtight in the freezer up to 2 months.

Frosting/Filling

• 1/2 C eggs whites (about 4 large)
• 1 C sugar
• 3/4 tsp cream of tartar
• 1 C water
• 1 TBS vanilla extract

Directions

1. Put the sugar, cream of tartar and water in a small saucepan fitted with a candy thermometer. Stir to combine.
2. Bring mixture to boil over medium high heat, cover the pan and boil for 3 minutes.  Uncover and allow the syrup to boil until it reaches 242 degrees F on the candy thermometer.
3. While the syrup is cooking, place egg whites in a clean, dry bowl.  Begin beating when the syrup reaches 235 degrees on the thermometer using the whisk attachment.  If the egg whites form peaks before the syrup gets to 242 degrees, reduce speed to low.
4. With the mixer at medium speed, stand back and carefully pour in the hot syrup.  It is likely to spatter, don’t try to scrape them into the whites.
5. Add-in vanilla and continue beating until mixture reaches room temp, about 5-7 minutes.  The result is a smooth, shiny frosting.
6. To assemble, place first layer on plate or stand.  Slip parchment under the edges to keep the plate clean.
7. Using an off-set spatula, cover the bottom layer of cake with a thick layer of frosting–about equal to the height of the cake.  Add the second layer and then working with a generous amount of frosting, frost the entire cake.  Decorate as desired.
8. Refrigerate for at least an hour before serving.

Because of how soft this frosting is, left-over cake (as if) should be stored in the fridge.

I know that Thanksgiving was so last month.  But, I also know many people step and repeat for Christmas so I thought I’d share links and whatnot to the recipes we used this year.

Let’s start with the turkey.  Ours came straight outta Compton.  No really, it did.  TD is generally in charge of the bird.  And, as you’ve seen in this blog, he does it a little differently every year.  Highlights have included the baducky and last year’s slow cooked turkey breast.  For years the guy has been talking about frying a turkey.  Luckily for our neighbors and home owner’s insurance premiums, the voice of reason has always won out.  Until we realized that someone else could make our fried Thanksgiving turkey.

Minimal research revealed that the place to buy fried turkey in Los Angeles is a little shop called Loreto’s Fried Turkey Restaurant (just in case you were confused about what they sell).  The fact that it is located in Compton was just the icing on the cake.  See, it meant that TD and his partner in crime for the day didn’t really have to give up the requisite element of danger that comes with procuring a friend turkey.

And let me tell you, that turkey was fantastic.

Surprisingly so.  Juicy, flavorful and made in someone else’s kitchen.  All the things that a Thanksgiving turkey generally is not.

While there is absolutely no denying that the Compton turkey was the star of the show, I think the sides made excellent supporting stars.

This year I made my favorite sourdough and artichoke stuffing from Sunset Magazine.  My version swaps-out white mushrooms for cremini and I like to add a little sweet Italian turkey sausage to the mix.

Simple buttermilk mashed potatoes.

Honeyed carrots for color.

Grilled brussels sprouts. Just par-boil your sprouts, then marinate in a vinegar based sauce (I like to use balsamic).  When ready, grill in a grill pan.  Easy as that.

A giant Russian Grandmother’s Apple Pie

And of course no Thanksgiving in the Misanthropic Household would be complete with out a Chocolate Sees Turkey or two.

Let the holidays begin!

Soundtrack

N.W.A. of course.

I know, I know, I promise two posts each week and then disappeare for a week.  And you know why?  Because I’ve been baking like a fiend.  A fiend I tell you.  Usually my goal is to have everything done by the second Monday after Thanksgiving.  However, this year, that second Monday will be my first day as Assistant Dean Wormer at a new university.  And, because I must have suffered a severe head trauma during the holiday baking planning process, I convinced myself that I could pull it all off a week early.  Well…I did.  But other stuff suffered a bit.  Like this blog.  Enough in the way of excuses though,  let’s talk about packaging.

I love packaging.  The end.

Seriously though, I do love to make things pretty.  We do, after all, eat with our eyes first.  However, with food, there are also practical considerations.  For instance, last post I discussed mixing and matching flavors as well as what to think about when you need to ship rather than hand deliver (or the opposite).  Other thoughts:

• Unless you really do not like the person(s) on the receiving end of your goodies, make sure your packaging is food safe.  Some things, like colored tissue paper can bleed into items that have moisture.  While this probably won’t kill anyone, it does affect how the treats look…and probably taste.
• Also think about what will help keep your treats fresh.  Zip lock bags are an easy think to use.  Cellophane bags, parchment and wax paper can also help keep things fresh.

In terms of the packaging itself, each year I like to do something a little different.  I’ve done take-out boxes.

And gable boxes.

And pastry boxes.

This year?  I did all of the above.

For packaging, my favorite supplier is Papermart. You can also find neat containers through the usual suspects like The Container Store, Michaels, Target and World Market.

Of course, people need to know who the treats come from and in the last couple of years the number of vendors who will make custom labels has exploded.  These and the red ones on the gable boxes came from MyOwnLabels.com.

Last year I ordered from a small vendor off of ETSY.com called AutumnLeah.  You can almost see our tree labels in the photo above with all of the white boxes.  This women was very easy to work with and had very reasonable prices.

This year I went through Erin Condren at erincondren.com.  I first discovered her through a sale at OneKingsLane.  It wasn’t until after I’d ordered labels that I discovered she is not only a UCLA grad but lives in my neck of the woods.  And? Our husbands know one another.

Super cute right?  Here is is again.

When I package, I like to do as much of it at once as possible.  This is where the planning spreadsheet keeps on giving.

With the spreadsheet close at hand, I like to organize a sort of treat assembly line where everything is out and ready to go.  I also like to make sure my assistants are geared-up.  If you can believe it, two hours after this picture was taken, we had a dinner party in this very spot.

Pretty cookies all in a row.

With a list of who gets what, everything where I can see it, and all packaging ready to go, it only take a couple of hours to put everything together.

I plan out what I am going to wear for the week.   Major holidays, parties and home renovations get project notebooks complete with time lines, budgets and diagrams.  On the Myers-Briggs I am so far to the right of “J” that the indicator bar hits the end of the interval.  TD may, occasionally, under certain circumstances, refer to yours truly as Mussolini.

In addition to making myself sound like the most boring person in the universe, there is method to my madness.  Efficiency (well, in the case of the wardrobe planning, it’s so I don’t end up wearing yoga pants and an old sorority t-shirt to work every day).  I truly believe that I can accomplish just about anything if it’s appropriately planned…and preferably color-coded. But the colors are just a bonus.  There are down-sides to this.  Most notably, I often finish my weekend task-lists and am ready to relax at around 6:00 Sunday evenings.  And, when presented with an unscheduled hour or two of free time I get a little twitchy. But, on the whole, I’m glad to be a planner by nature.  It serves me well more often than not.

And, now, it just might serve you.

Each year I do a lot of holiday baking.  Like, a lot a lot.  I also do it in a very short period of time and about half of it gets shipped to the far-reaches of the country.  To follow are some tips, tricks and rules I use to make the goodies “appear on time” while still enjoying the holiday season.  Ready?

• Decide in advance what you are going to make.  And then, think through your own parameters.  Take into consideration the amount of time you are willing to invest as well as where it needs to go and (most importantly), who is going to get it.  French macarons make lovely gifts.  However, they don’t travel well and go stale quickly.  They can also be difficult to make and, even when the stars align, there is no guarantee they’ll turn out.  As a result, I only make a few and only for people I hand-deliver to.  Take stuff like this  into consideration before you start baking.

• If you make one specialty item, stick with it; people are most likely looking forward to it.  If you want to branch-out, consider utilizing a theme or unifying framework.  What about doing all-bar related goodies? Or all candy? Personally, I stick with five or so standards and experiment with three or four new items.  But, there’s lots of ways to fill a treat box.

• Speaking of filling a treat box, keep in mind how different flavors mix and mingle.  I package like-flavors together and separate strong flavors entirely (like mint or sometimes peanut butter).  This is especially important if you are shipping the items.  There is a reason professional companies separate and individually pack items.  When you don’t, everything ends up tasting the same.   If you are taking the items to friends and you know they’ll be consumed right away, you probably don’t need to separate,  just wait until the last minute to put everything together.

• Once you know what you want to make, make a list of everyone you want to receive goodies.  Then, sketch out how many of each you want people to get.  This is helpful if you are making multiple items because it not only gives you an idea of how many batches you will need but also helps you to think through distribution.  For instance, my brother loves schweaddy balls. So, he gets lots of those but no rum butter nuts because my mom will make those for him.  Because I’m a giant nerd, I like to put the information into a spreadsheet.  On the vertical access I list my recipients.  Across the horizontal are the treat varieties.  Here is my list for this year (names have been blacked-out to protect the innocent).

• Of course, all the allocations in the world are of no use unless you have a deployment plan.  Or, in this case, a baking plan.  So, make one!  Again, I find spreadsheets useful here or even just a calendar.  Below is my plan for this year.

Here is how I organize my calendar:

• Things that freeze well are made first and then, you guessed it, frozen.  This is also useful for things that take multiple steps that I know I’ll lose patience for later in the process.

• Speaking of multiple steps.  Make sure to leave yourself enough time to properly ice, dip, glaze and otherwise decorate items that require any of these features.  Each year I make sugar cookies (and, here is a hint within a hint, I only do one shape each year.  This year it’s snowflakes.  Last year it was stars).  These cookies take a total of five days to properly make: one to make the dough and refrigerate it, one to bake-it off, one to pre-glaze, one to decorate after the pre-glaze has hardened and a final to let the decorations harden.  So, I plan this into my baking calendar.

• You can also break some recipes into multiple steps to take advantage of smaller units of time (like before work).  This year, I’m making a chocolate sable and a coconut shortbread.  Both freeze well in dough-form.  So, I’ll make multiple batches of each, freeze them, and bake them off as I have time.

• Plan things that work better with multiple pairs of hands during times when you’ll have them.  TD generally runs in the opposite direction during this time of year.  But, we do team-up to do the oft-mentioned schweaddy balls.  I pull the dough and weigh it, he then forms each one into a perfect little ball.

• Make sure you’ve got all your supplies on hand before you start baking.  You don’t want to have to run to the store with an oven full of shortbread because you’ve run out of butter for batch number two.

• Think through how you are going to store your items before distribution.  I hate to admit it, but I find large zip-lock bags very useful here.  Just remember to separate layers with parchment or wax paper.  You can also use air-tight containers, tins or boxes.  And while you are at it, make sure you have a safe place to store your finished products.  With two kitchen gods, I can’t leave things out on the counter.  The chances that whatever it is will end up on the floor is about 100%.

• Next week I am going to share some of my favorite packaging resources.  However, it’s never to early to start thinking about this piece as well.  Bags?  Boxes?  Plates?  Labels?  Tags?  Post-it Notes?  How are you going to deliver and or ship?  Don’t forget the bubble-wrap!

• Finally, I like to set up a giant assembly line to put together the majority of the packages (knowing that I’ll have extras on hand for last minute gifts).  This way I can put together each person’s little package, seal it and move on to the next.

And that’s all I have on my list.  Of course, this is just how I do it.  What tips and tricks do you use for holiday baking?

Here in Southern California, the marine layer has finally said audios until March, the tourists have gone home and college basketball is just starting.  Oh, and it’s holiday baking time.  The posts this month are all about logistics.  We’ve got a baking-round up, a post on how to plan-out the baking bonanza and another on packaging and wrapping.  Of course there will be a new recipe or two, but really, November is about getting it done while maintaining your sanity and, dare I say, enjoying the holiday spirit.

Like most pathological planners, I start thinking about holiday baking months in advance.  I like to have the time to casually consider new recipes without any pressure to produce.  About the same time I also start thinking about packaging.  I like to do a little something different every year and the proliferation of customizable goods on sites like ETSY.com have made it not only incredibly easy but also relatively inexpensive.  But, we’ll cover this in a couple of weeks.

For now, I’ve got a round-up (in no particular order) of successful recipes past to get the creative juices going.  I’ve done each of these (or are planning to) for holidays with great success.

The Sugar Cookie

Chocolate Peanut Butter Bon Bons, aka Schweddy Balls

Insert Your Favorite Nut Toffee

Baklava

Sables

Chocolate Roll-out Cookies

Rum Butter Nuts

Glittery Lemon Sandwich Cookies

Candied Citrus Peel

French Macarons

Orange Cranberry Shortbread

Almond Macaroons

Chocolate Cayenne Cocktail Cookies

Toasted Coconut Shortbread

We know I have a baking weakness for shortbread and sables.  So, I couldn’t resist this recipe.  Shortbread and toasted coconut?  I’m in.  The smell of coconut toasting in the oven is a beautiful thing.  Along with the nuttiness you would expect come a heady, floral scent that makes me think of warm sand and salty breezes.

Simple dough, a hallmark of shortbread.

Two logs.  One for now, one still in the freezer for a later post.

Seriously good stuff!

Toasted Coconut Shortbread

adapted from Christmas Cookies, Better Homes and Gardens, 2011

Ingredients

• 1/2 C sweetened flaked coconut
• 1/2 lb unsalted butter at room temperature
• 1/4 C confectioner’s sugar, sifted
• 1/4 C granulated (I like to use superfine)
• 2 1/4 C all purpose flour
• 1/4 tsp sea salt

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 250 degrees.  Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.  Spread the coconut evenly on the lined sheet.  Bake until golden, about 10 minutes.  Set aside to cool.
2. In a standing mixer fitted with a paddle (or electric hand-mixer), beat butter, coconut and sugars until creamy, scraping down the sides of the bowl.
3. Add flour and salt and mix until just combined.  Turn dough out onto a work surface, split in half (I like to weigh it out using a kitchen scale for even logs) and form dough into logs.  Wrap in plastic and refrigerate for at least an hour.
4. Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Line baking sheet with parchment paper.
5. With the tip of a sharp knife, cut 1/4 to 1/2 inch slices of the dough and place slices 2 inches apart on the prepared cookie sheet.
6. Bake until the cookies are just beginning to brown on the edges, about 20 minutes.