Category: Uncategorized

Piece of pie!

I’ve made my fear of pate brise no secret. I blame certain family members who suckled me on the crust of incredibly flakey and light pie crusts during my formative years.  As a result, I will generally do anything I can to avoid making pie crust.  This has included, using passable proxies like shortbread or graham cracker to just baking a cake instead.

But.

TD asked for an apple pie to go with the Gobbla’ Cobbla.’  And since I knew they he would be recruited to roll about 250 Schweddy Balls earlier in the day, I had no choice but to acquiesce.  I began with Dorie Greenspan’s Good for Almost Anything Pie Dough.  Her recipe calls for a mix of very cold butter and shortening.

It also uses food processor…which made it a winner in my book.

I cheated just a little and when it was time to form the two disks of dough for refrigeration, I rolled-one-out, fit it to the pie dish and then put it in the fridge.

You know how reading a recipe the entire way through is like baking rule #1.  Well, I didn’t and so, when I went to prepare the filling I realized the Ms. Greenspan calls for quick-cooking tapioca.  Quite possibly the single baking-type ingredient I did not have in my pantry.  Undeterred, I jumped over to my cooking and baking bible, the Joy of Cooking and perused their apple pie recipes.  This is when I discovered a recipe that cooks the apples before putting them into the pie.  Intrigued (and having all the ingredients), I jumped in.  The core of the idea (ha) is to saute the apple chunks in butter until nearly cooked.   I like an apple pie with lots of apples and so, adjusted the filling recipe up.

Then they cool.

And only THEN do they go into the chilled pie-crust.

At this point, I still had very little faith in my pie baking skills and so, went rustic on the crust.

Oh but wait…what is this I see before me?  A pretty gorgeous pie with what certainly looked like flakey crust.

After enjoying our Gobbla’ Cobbla’ and martinis, the moment of truth was upon us.  A few cautious cuts and the resulting piece looked like a presentable piece of pie.  Then I took a bite.  My reaction was to employ an expletive involving a reflexive verb, a number larger than one and a day of the week beginning with T.  Was this it?  Had I finally stumbled across the holy grail of apple pie?  Just to be on the safe side, we conducted further research the next day.  In fact, the picture below was taken the next day.

I fully intended on making this pie again before posting the recipe.  Sadly, time has not been on my side.  And so, I leave it to you dear readers to vet what I think might just be a very excellent pie recipe.

Soundtrack

New Mumford and Sons

If you like this, you might like these

Russian Grandmother’s Apple Pie-Cake

Tarte de Pommes a la Normande

Misanthropic Hostess Apple Pie

adapted from Dorie Greenspan’s Good for Almost Everything Pie Dough and Joy of Cooking’s Apple Pie II recipes

For the Crust

Ingredients (this is for a double crust)

  • 1 1 /2 C all-purpose flour
  • 2 TBS sugar
  • 3/4 tsp salt
  • 10 TBS frozen unsalted butter cut into 1/2 TBS sized-pieves
  • 2 1/2 TBS frozen vegetable shortening, cut into 2 pievs
  • 1/4 or so of iced water

Directions

  1. Place flour, sugar and salt in the food processor fitted with a metal blade and pulse to just combined the ingredients.
  2. Drop-in butter and shortening and pulse only until both are cut-into the flour–think un-even bits ranging from to pea-to-orzo sized.
  3. Pulsing the processor on-and-off, add about 6 TBS a little at a time by pulsing and repeating.  Then, use a few longer pulses to incorporate the water into the flour.  Big pieces of butter in the dough, are fine (and encouraged).  If needed, continue to add water a few drops at-a-time until the dough sticks together when pinched.
  4. Scrape dough out of processor and onto a floured surface.  Divide the dough in half, form two disks (or cheat like I did and roll-out one and place it in a deep pie dish).  Wrap everything in plastic and refrigerate at least an hour before using.

For the Filling

Ingredients
  • 4 LBS apples (I used a mix of Granny Smith and Fiji)
  • 4 TBS unsalted butter
  • 3/4 C sugar
  • 1/2 TSP ground cinnamon
  • 1/8 TSP salt
Directions
  1. Peel and core apples, cutting as desired (I used a rustic chop with pieces about the size of large almonds).
  2. In a very large skillet or pot, heat butter over high heat until sizzling and fragrant.
  3. Add apples and toss until glazed with the butter.
  4. Reduce the heat to medium, cover tightly and cook, stirring often. until the apples are softened but still slightly crunchy.
  5. Stir in the sugar, cinnamon and salt.
  6. Increase heat to high and cook at a rapid boil until the juices become thick and syrupy (about 3 minutes)
  7. Immediately spread the apples i na thin layer on a baking sheet.  Let cool to room temperature.

To Assemble and Bake

  1. Preheat the oven to 425 degrees
  2. On a floured surface, roll-out your bottom layer of dough.  Be sure to turn the dough often.  Gently place dough into the pan, do not stretch dough.
  3. Fill with apples and place in fridge while rolling-out second crust.
  4. Roll out second crust.
  5. Remove filled-pan from fridge and trim the edges of the dough so there is about 1/2 inch overhang.
  6. Center the second piece of dough over the pie and press it against the bottom crust.
  7. Trim the top crust to overhand just slightly over the bottom crust.
  8. Pinch the crust (or roll up) to create a sealed edge.
  9. Cut vents for steam and brush with egg wash if desired.
  10. Bake in the oven for 40-50 minutes until the crust is a rich, golden brown.
  11. Let cool and then sit for at least 4 hours before cutting.

 

 

 

SFHB: Final Edition

And here we are.  The cookie cutters have been put away.  My fridge is devoid of all but a single stick of butter.  And with couple of special exceptions, all goodies have been delivered or shipped. Here is how it went down in the last week.

The dining room was staging area one.

I think some of you thought I was kidding when I said I use workbooks for planning.  Dear Excel, I would be nothing without you.  This shot is of the distribution list.  The colored columns were different categories of treats.  The rows, recipients.  Lines were greyed-out when packaging was complete on the individual unit (a final column indicates status of delivery).

If it’s business in the dining room, it’s party in the kitchen.  Once the goodies were in a box they went to the kitchen for trimmings.

Which included this year’s label.  Erin Condren gets all the credit for the design work here.

Because most people got anywhere from six-to-nine different treats, I packaged them individually and then labeled the ones with stronger flavors.

Here we are about 2/3 of the way through the process.  This year, because I had an unusually large volume of packaging to do, I actually spread it across two evenings and a Saturday.

Finally, FINALLY, it’s all over but the eating.  This is actually only about 2/3 of the packages (I made an early delivery to USC last Friday).  TD helped me to package all that needed to be shipped and we were in-and-out of the LAX Post Office in five minutes (on a Sunday no less).

For those of you who got goodies, it probably would have been smart to take a picture of each, label it and then add the recipe link.  Coulda’, woulda’, shoulda’…didn’t even think of it until today.  In lieu of that, here is a breakdown and links to the recipes:

Sugar Cookies (sprinkled and iced)

Rum Butter Nuts

Sour Cherry and Pistachio Sables (a variation on this recipe)

Chocolate Cayenne Cookies

Caramel Crunch Bars (which should really be named Toffee Crunch Bars)

Schweddy Balls

Fleur de Sel Caramel

Altoid Brownies (you’ll have to stay tuned until Thursday for my updated take on this recipe)

Brown Butter Blondies (the recipe for these will post on 12/20).

 

And now the moment we’ve all been waiting for.  The poundage.

TOTAL POUNDS OF BUTTER UTILIZED: 20.125

To give some context, those 20 lbs translated into just under 1500 individual cookies, bars, brownies and candies.

Jeanette was the big winner with a guess of 20 lbs. Jeanette, my dear, you should have gotten your prize on Friday.  If not, I have a notion of who may have abducted your bag of Schweddys.

Amber, Nancy and Ann, there is a little something headed your way as well.  Normally, I am a strong believer in meritocracy.  BUT.  You three have been long standing supporters of the Misanthropic Hostess and I couldn’t resist a little thank you.

…and that’s all I have to say about that.

SFHB#4

We did quite a bit of decorating this week.

Hot pink penguins not pictured.

At this writing, I am one item away from completing butter consumption…but you’re going to have to wait one more week for the final tally.

Total butter to-date: 18.375 Lbs

To put it into perspective, that’s about 1 1/2 fluffy kitchen gods.

Win friends and friend your enemies

Pssssst.  Want to know the secret of the perfect casual hors d’oeuvre?  You know the one I’m talking about.  Elegant, enticing and easy?

Perfect for a crowd or an intimate gathering.

With an endless combination of flavor possibilities?

Including bacon?

And cheese?

And all wrapped up like a little pre-meal present?

Well, allow me to introduce you to my little friend: the brie en croute.

Do not give into the temptation of a frozen pre-made brie en croute.  Spend 10 extra minutes, make it from scratch, and I guarantee far, FAR superior results.

As you can see.

I’ve served it a time or two. Or ten.

Brie en Croute

I’ve listed the basic recipe first.  Then, at the bottom I’ve listed an array (though by no means exhaustive) list of add-ins.

Ingredients

  • 1 sheet of frozen puff pastry for each round of brie
  • 1 round of brie (small, large, medium, up to you)
  • 1 egg+1 TBS water
  • Fancy fancies (see below)
  • Assorted goodies to scoop-up the brie.  Bread, crackers, fruit, blanched vegetables or a spoon all work.

Directions

  1. Remove pastry from freezer and allow to defrost for 35 minutes.  Resist the urge to unfold it until it it defrosted.
  2. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees.
  3. Once defrosted, gently roll-out puff pastry sheet along the edges so that the margins are large enough to fit over the wheel of brie with overlap.  This will depend on the size of your wheel of brie.
  4. Place whatever fancy fancies you would like to add-in in the middle of the pastry, distributing to the size of the wheel of brie.
  5. Place brie on top of fancy fancies.
  6. Beat egg with water to create an egg wash.  Using a brush or your fingers,  wash the last two inches of the outer edges of the pastry.
  7. Starting with one corner, bring the corner across the bottom of the pastry so that it reaches across. Working around the wheel, gently pull the pastry ends across the cheese until you have a secure bundle.  Brush with egg wash.
  8. Keeping a finger or two on the seams of the overlap, flip the bundle and place it on a parchment-lined baking sheet.  Brush entire top with egg-wash.  Adorn as desired.
  9. Bake for 20-30 minutes until the crust is puffed and top is golden brown.
  10. Plate as desired and let rest for about an hour.  This part is very important.  Right out of the oven, the cheese is liquid.  It needs time to rest and slow to a warm lava-like consistency.

Fancy Fancies

  • Any kind of jam, jelly or chutney.
  • Raspberry jam with toasted walnuts.
  • Orange marmelade and dried cranberries.
  • Bacon and gorgonzola (cheese on top of cheese)
  • Honey and almonds
  • Sun-dried tomatoes, pine nuts and Herbs de  Provence
  • Pistachios and dried sour cherries
  • Roasted garlic and caramelized onion
  • Pecan and maple syrup
  • Prosciutto and fresh chopped parsley
  • Chicken and waffles (sorry, that was TD’s suggestion)
  • Chorizo, cilantro and roasted pepitas

 

 

 

SFHB #3

What happens when you take a giant bowl of crispy rice and add butter, peanut butter and confectioner’s sugar?

Schweddy balls happen, that’s what!

Though out-of-focus it may be, I had to include this snap.  Post-modern cooking at its finest (I swear this wasn’t staged).

And the main event:

Total butter poundage to date: 15.31

Gobbla’ Cobbla’

I know this week’s post is a little late.  You can blame our wonderfully generous and thoughtful Thanksgiving hosts for that.  TD and I had planned to spend Thanksgiving hiding out and attempting the invention of what is sure to be a holiday classic (bah!).  But, we got invited someplace better (much, much better), and so, our Thanksgiving cooking plans had to wait a day.

Here is how this all started.  We were hanging around one afternoon (probably watching college football) when the idea of putting an entire Thanksgiving dinner into a single vessel arose.  Could it be done?  How would it work?  What about layering strategies?  Of course, once we’d thrown down the guantlet, we had no choice but to respond.

Now, before we go any further, you all know I’m solid on the Thanksgiving meal front right?  You know 99% of the time everything is made not only from scratch, but with the best ingredients.  Right?  Right?  So, you’ll forgive me for what you are about to witness (and maybe, just maybe, you’ll try it with your leftovers).

Since we weren’t  doing an entire turkey this year, we began with a slow-cooked turkey breast half. I just added 12 ounces of chicken stock, a split head of garlic and some aromatics.  When all was said and done, this half produced about a pound of shredded breast meat.

While the breast was cooking, we also mashed a couple of potatoes and made a package of stove-top stuffing (per TD’s request).  To add some flavor to the chicken breast, I sauteed some onion, carrot, mushrooms and a little celery.  Do this part or skip it, your choice.  To top it off, we added about 2 cups of prepared turkey gravy.

We knew that the only way a one-dish Thanksgiving would work was if it could be removed from the pan in a relatively neat manner.  Insert a crescent-roll dish liner here.

Two-and-a-half packages of rolls provided casserole-dish coverage, Frankenstein style.  Of course, the reason we all love crescent rolls is their light and flaky texture.  This wouldn’t have worked here, so I blind-baked the whole thing for about 15 minutes.

The rest is about assemblage.  First layer: turkey and gravy.

Second layer: mashed potatoes.

Finally, we topped it all off with stuffing.

Because everything was pre-cooked, the entire dish needed only about 30 minutes in the oven. During this time we assembled our minimal sides.  Some charred brussels sprouts for green.  And of course, the cranberry sauce.  We’re purists like that.

At this point, we had no idea if this was going to work.  So, we started drinking.

The drinking helped, but you know what?  I think we pulled it off!

The crescent roll crust kept everything orderly and while this wouldn’t work for people who need their food options separated, TD declared it Methodist-lady hot-dish appropriate. And, our third dinner guest, sitting just off camera to my right, seemed very interested.

In all seriousness though, this is a pretty handy way of using up holiday leftovers.  If you assemble everything in a freezer-safe dish, wrapped it up tightly and froze it, I bet you could just defrost and reheat say, about February.  Just a thought…

We called it the Gobbla’ Cobbla’ (because suddenly we’re from Boston).  And really, there is no recipe.  If using leftover, just use what you have.  If assembling from scratch, here is what we used to fill a 9X13ish casserole dish.

Gobbla’ Cobbla’

Ingredients

  • 1 lb cooked turkey (light meat, dark meat shredded or cubed, whatever your fancy)
  • Mashed potatoes from 2 large potatoes (I’d say about 3 cups)
  • 1 package Stove-Top stuffing (you know, I’d never had the stuff until now)
  • 2 C turkey gravy
  • 2-3 packages crescent rolls
  • Whatever else you think would go well with this hot mess of ingredients (sweet potatoes, rice, green breans).

Directions

  1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees.  Oil the casserole dish and line with crescent roll pieces.  Be sure to fuse any weak seams.  Line un-cooked crust with parchment and fill with either pie weights or beans.  Bake for about 15 minutes.  Remove beans and parchment, bake for another 5-7 minutes, until the bottom is just baked.
  2. In a large pan, combine turkey and gravy.  Gently heat to combine (add in desired veg).
  3. Once the crust is out of the oven, eyeball the volume of the dish you have to work with.  Then, add each of the three filling ingredients accordingly.  We distributed the ingredients equally.  You may decide to alter the ratios depending on preference for certain Thanksgiving side dishes.
  4. Once assembled, bake in the over for 20-30 minutes.
  5. Enjoy.

 

 

 

Scenes from holiday baking #2

We are in the thick of things boys and girls.  In the last week much has happened.

These:

Became these:

And this:

Turned into this:

As we roll into the Thanksgiving holiday weekend, I’ve got one more candy and two more batches of cut-out cookies to make and will then move on to the more delicate items and detail work.

Ann, Amber, Nancy and Jeanette, here is your current butter poundage:

8.82 lbs

And we’re not even close to being done…

A very special TJT. On Monday

BOOM!

UCLA definitely brought the boom on Saturday against USC.  And yes, I am using this TJT on Monday post as a  thinly disguised pretense to gloat.  And do eight-claps.

Despite being on home turf, TD and I weren’t planning on going to the game. In fact, I had the day all planned out: holiday baking and the game on the radio.  But then an 11th hour offer from a source we couldn’t refuse (thank you Dan!) appeared with the rain on Friday night.  Which is how I found myself wearing as much blue and gold as I could wiggle into and drinking a beer in Pasadena at what felt like a ridiculously early hour.

After having worked at USC for nearly seven years, I find myself surprisingly and enduringly fond of the institution.  The Trojans, however, are a different story entirely.  I’m not very good at talking smack.  But, let’s just put it this way, I don’t wear red. Of any shade.  Ever.

I love this rivalry.  This is the one time each year when rankings and records make absolutely no difference.  At this game, anything is possible (including that time in ’93 when Tommy fell off of Traveler).  This year?  Epic!  Combine a packed stadium, cross-town rivalry and rain–and you get history in the making.  Boom UCLA, BOOM!

Why yes, I do have gold shoes, vestiges left over from playing the role of TD’s wife during the pre-game dog and pony. 

The only thing marring this sweet, sweet victory was the empathetic pang I felt when the clock ran out and the Trojans sadly drifted off the field.  Deflated.  Sort of like their footballs.

Before I bring this UCLA happy dance to a bow, I just have one thing to point-out, you know, as long as I’m gloating.  I’ve officially been a Bruin for 20 years.  If my count is correct, during this time UCLA has won as many rivalry games as they have lost. I however have a perfect win record for attending UCLA-USC games.  That’s right, UCLA has won every rivalry game at which I’ve had a corporeal presence.  BOOM!

 

Holiday Treat Round-Up

I wasn’t kidding when I said planning for holiday baking begins months in advance.  I try out recipes, consider themes and attempt to devise a combination of different flavors and textures that will include a little something for every taste.  I am also a great appreciator of holiday baking lists; a conisuer of cookie compendiums, if you will.  So, I thought I’d make some lists of my own.

Last year about this time, I wrote a post about planning.  This might be a good place to begin if you are considering a little  seasonal creativity.  There are lots of ways to categorize treats and I’m sure, over the years, I’ll try them all (because you know you’ll get at least one “clip show” post this time each year).  This time around, I’m hitting you straight on and categorizing by preparation: roll and cut cookies, cut-out cookies, drop cookies, bars, candy and fancy treats.

Roll and Cut Cookies

These are the secret weapon of the entertainer and grateful guest.  It’s easy to make up several batches of dough, wrap them tightly and then freeze.  To bake, just slice and turn on the oven.  The roll and cut method also works beautifully with texture-dependent cookies like sables and shortbread.  The minimal kneading and manipulate really helps maintain this important cookie component.

Chocolate Cayenne Cookies

Dirty Chai Shortbread

Orange Cranberry Shortbread

World Peace Cookies (chocolate sables)

Sables

Cut-Out Cookies

If cookies had enemies, cut-out cookies and roll and cut cookies would be bitter rivals.  The opposite of delicate, the two recipes below can take a rolling-out and then probably another.

THE Sugar Cookies

Chocolate Roll-Out Cookies

and just for good measure, these aren’t cookies, but are solid, especially when gifted with a bottle of wine.

Cheese Crackers

Drop Cookies

Go on, I know you want to.  Okay, I’ll do it with you. Ready? And…drop it like it’s hot, drop it like it’s hot.  The drop cookie is a classic and has so many possibilities.  Here are a few of my festive-worthy favorites (even if some actually get a little flattened after they drop).

Triple Ginger Cookie

Peanut Butter Crisscrosses

 Nutella Cookies

Blueberries and Cream Cookies (I bet these would be excellent with dried cranberries or currants)

Brown Sugar Crinkles (do not underestimate these simple cookies)

Bars

I love the bar cookie.  In fact, I have a great business idea if anyone has some capital they’d like to put up.  I especially love bars during the holidays–the all-in-one-pan delivery makes it easy to cut, pack and give.  If you are feeling particularly fancy, they’re even more special nestled in the little wrappers.  I’m limiting my list below to five that don’t have toppings for packaging ease, but for more, go here.

TMH Brownies

Bella Bars

Hazelnut Caramel Chocolate Bars

Candied Orange Peel and Almond Blondies

Caramel Crunch Bars

Candy

Candy is a whole world I’ve just started to explore.  Including  one or two types has the dual advantage of variety and the potential for a more shelf-stable treat.

Candied Citrus Peel

Honeycomb

Marshmallows

Chocolate Peanut Butter Bon Bons (Schweady Balls)

Fancy Treats

Not to say that the goodies listed above aren’t give-worthy.  Because, they are.  But, sometimes you just need a little somethin’ somethin.’  Whether its the execution or the ingredients, this final list should fit-the-bill.

Glittery Lemon Sandwich Cookies

Rum Butter Nuts

French Macarons

Florentines

Confetti Cookies

Didn’t Find What You Were Looking For?

Try here for more: Misanthropic Hostess Recipes Index