I know I said we’d go back to Australia for a few weeks, but I’ve got one more recipe before we do that.  It’s an adult beverage.  And, I couldn’t wait until the end of the summer to share.

I can’t quite figure out how to tell the story of this cocktail without revealing what incredibly bad people TD and I are.  So, I’m just going to tell the truth.

Our little unicorporated area of Los Angeles has its own fourth of July parade.  Like many other July 4th parades across this fine country, ours is populated by local politicians in classic cars, boy scouts, indian guides and youth baseball/softball leagues.  TD and I started going when we moved to the neighborhood because it seemed unpatriotic not to attend a parade that begins three blocks from our house.

Three summers ago we were doing our American duty, sitting on the curb watching the 10th high school band drift by when a miracle happened.  We were situated next to a family with (as we remember it), a boy of about seven.  Every time this child even began to look like he might wander off, his mother would yell: “josh.  Josh.  JOSH!!!!!”  Soon TD and I were so wrapped up in the drama going on next to us that the parade was nearly forgotten.    While we felt bad for poor Josh, his overbearing mother’s shenanigans were very entertaining.

The following year the miracle happened again and we found ourselves side-by-side with Josh and his mom.  This year was even better.

So, you know how at some, small town parades the participants throw candy?  Our parade has candy and swag.  T-shirts, beach balls, airline peanuts, reusable shopping bags–all up for the taking.  The distribution is randomized…and almost always done by children.  They walk by, throw stuff and the kids pick up what they can.  You’ve done this before right?

So.  Josh’s mom.  Every time there was swag to be had, she did one of two things.  If Josh didn’t get some, she would approach the giver (remember, they’re almost always kids) and ask for some.  If, by chance Josh got whatever prize was thrown…but only one, Josh’s mom would still solicit the thrower with the same explanation each time: “can I have another (fill in piece of crap here), Josh’s sister isn’t here and they’ll fight if she doesn’t get (fill in your piece of crap here).

Now, I don’t know about you, but where I grew up there was parade etiquette.  These unwritten rules pretty much stated that if you are lucky enough to be watching a parade and if the parade walkers throw cool stuff into the crowd, you either get some or you don’t.  You don’t stop the progress of the parade just so you can get  [insert piece of crap here].   I know times change so I did some research.  TD and I looked up and down the parade route and Josh’s mom was the only parent guilting poor local dance troupes and Shriners for gifts.

We continued to feel really bad for Josh.  And whoever he might date in the future.  If he’s ever allowed to date.

Which brings us to this year.  We figured, if by some chance we happened to sit in the vicinity of Josh’s mom, we’d do some careful observation and come up with a cocktail for future Josh.  Guess who we sat next to at the parade?  I promise, it wasn’t planned.  In fact, Josh’s mom didn’t join the crew until the parade had begun.  Much to our surprise, Josh has not only a sister but another younger brother (which made us wonder why 2012 Josh’s mom was only asking for stuff for the sister).

TD and I went to the parade armed with our cell phones so that we could text each other should to chance arise (I told you, we are bad, bad people).  Sure enough, first swag throwers come through and one, or two of Josh’s siblings didn’t get the double bubble being thrown.  So, mom flies into action.  Again, and again, and again.

Here is the thing, Josh’s mom used the excuse that her kids would fight if all three didn’t get equal stash.  But, as very close observers of the scene, TD and I can attest, those kids bickered the entire time.  They bickered in way that neither TD and I would have ever dared fight in front of our parents.  Josh’s mom seems to have a new strategy: yell at the kids to stop bickering while her eyes and fingers are engaged in what I’m guessing is candy crusher or some other momlike phone game.

By the end of the parade, we decided that Josh didn’t need the cocktail, we did.  And, so, I bring you the Josh’s mom.  Next year, we’ll come to the parade armed with enough cocktails for not only us, but anyone who happens to sit next to Josh’s mom and family.

Josh’s Mom

Makes 6 high ball or 8 low ball cocktails

note: of course these can be made individually.  BUT, I think this recipe works better as a punch.

Ingredients 

• zest of 1 lime
• 1/2 C sugar
• 1/2 C water
• 2/3 C fresh lime juice
• 2 C frozen sweet or sour cherries (I used sweet)
• 2 C soda water, seltzer or sprite
• 1 C vodka
• Lime wheels or wedges to garnish

Directions

For simple lime syrup (do this at least 2 hours in advance and allow to chill).

1. Combine water and sugar in small saucepan.  Stir to dissolve sugar and allow to come to a boil.
2. Once mixture is boiling, turn off heat and add lime zest.  Allow to steep for 15 minutes.
3. Strain-out lime zest (I use a fine-mesh colander) and chill.

To assemble punch

1. In a blender, puree cherries until smooth.
2. Mix-in lime juice.
3. Mix-in seltzer.
4. Mix-in simple syrup to taste (start with 3 TBS and go from there depending on desired tartness).
5. Mix-in vodka.
6. Serve over ice with lime wheels as garnish.