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Before we start tearing up the place, it probably makes sense to show you what Via Corona looks like in her current state.

You know house porn?  Well, to paraphrase Justice Potter Stewart, “…I know it when I see it and the (house) involved in this case is not that.”

Here are Via Corona’s current stats:

  • Built in 1966
  • 4 Bedrooms
  • 2 1/2 baths
  • 1921 square feet
  • 7,000 sq foot lot (give or take).

A word of explanation.  Some of these shots are taken from the MLS listing and others were taken with an iPhone.  It will be very clear which are which.  What’s more, the pictures were taken at different times during the previous owner’s move process and then immediately after we took possession.  None of the furniture, furnishings, digital clocks, wheelchairs, exercise bikes or wigs belong to us.

We’ve been calling her Via Corona because that’s her street address.  The street and adjacent properties are sort of etched into the side of the hill so that the houses are only on the down slope side.  Via Corona sits on the corner.   When the original plans for the house were submitted to the city in 1966, the lot was actually located on the other street the house borders.  We don’t know how much later Via Corona the street came into existence but we are amused by the fact that she stands on her own.  Via Corona precludes no “street,” “lane,” “avenue” or “boulevard.”  She’s just Via Corona.

You’ve already seen the picture but it’s the only decent shot we have of the outside.  I like to refer to the style of the house as “rectangle.”  That tree in the lower left hand corner is named Stanley.

The previous owner was a tile layer.  And man, he must of loved his work because he brought it home with him.  Everywhere.  Also, that cupola needs a weather vane.

This fantastic shot includes not only a rusty gate but also a rusty mailbox and an excellent view of the “Arizona” rocks used throughout the front.  Yeah, I know, 1982 called and wants its white tile back.

Haunted house front doors.  Complete with matching wasps’ nests (upper left corner of the door).

And we’re in the house.  There isn’t much of a foyer.  You basically walk in and have to go to the right or left. Note the expansive height of the ceiling.  Not.

This is what you see when you go to the right from the front door.  This is a professional shot…if you couldn’t tell.  Here is what it looked like after closing:

Charming right? Those giant windows are just off to the left in this photo. Turning around:

And now we’re looking into the dining room and kitchen.

Looking back toward the living room from the kitchen.

Same angle, professional glamour shot version. Sadly, that digital clock was not among the treasures the previous owners left behind.

This my friends, is the kitchen.  The footprint is just about 12X12.  You thought we’d go for something larger didn’t you?  I see it as an opportunity in efficiency.

Just can’t get enough of that tile.  Moving along.

Here we have the laundry room.  The door on the left leads to the kitchen.  The ovens are immediately to the left as you exit the laundry room.  We have big plans for this little room and they don’t include keeping the linoleum or the current entry point from the garage.  You know what they do include?  A proper fire door.  Safety is important.

We’ve come nearly full circle.  There is a doorway between the dining area and beginning of the kitchen that nearly completes the oval.  But wait…before we go upstairs…

What’s mauve and brown and has an oddly placed window?  This powder room. It’s  hard to see in this picture but the the ceiling is coved and frosted.  It literally looks like someone spackled the ceiling with seven-minute frosting and then went to town with an offset spatula.  We may or may not be keeping it.

Do you want to go upstairs and see my fish tank?

Immediately to the right at the top of the stairs is the guest bath.  No, your eyes do not deceive you, that vanity really is knee height.

Straight across the hall if you are standing in the doorway of the guest bathroom is what will be TD’s office.  This shot was taken during one of the inspections when the owners were packing.  What you don’t see is a set set of wigs just outside of the shot.

Okay, let’s head to the left down the hall.

This little light of mine.  I’m gonna let it shine. Let it shine…let it shine…let it shine…oh wait.  At the very end is another bedroom:

Why yes, that is a shop light installed in the ceiling.  There is a matching one above the matching desk on the other side.

Same room but the glamour shot.  The views from the three bedrooms on this side of the house are pretty remarkable.  We’re going to use this as an upstairs family room/den.

Head out the bedroom and to your left is the only bedroom on the front of the house.  This too is a professional shot.  This will be the official Via Corona guest bedroom.  We will begin taking reservations in early fall 2016.

Okay back down the hall to the opposite end of the house (you’ll pass the guest bath on the left and the office on your right).

Master bedroom.  Lipstick on a pig glamour shot.

Master bath.  You thought I was kidding about the tile.  Okay, out of the bedroom, take a right.

And it’s time to go downstairs.

Let’s go out on the deck (off of the living room).

You’ve also seen this professional shot before.

Looking back toward the house.  Living room to the immediate left, dining and kitchen at 11:00.  Sometime in the (hopefully) near future, the space all the way up to the post will be living room when french doors to the new deck.

Off the deck at sunset.  Bad iPhone shot.

Standing back in the front of the house.  This will be a  patio some day.  Right now it’s a cracked chimney, and two leaning walls.

And there you have it.  Our own sysiphean boulder in house form.  Mama mia, what have we done?




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