Appetite for destruction – Part Deux

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“Do you know where you are?  You’re in the master bathroom, baby!  You’re (probably) gonna diiieeeee!!”

-W. Axl Rose 

TD back again, check it to wreck it let’s begin . . . 

Today I have the enviable task of showing you the “progress” on the upstairs – recently home to abandoned underwear, 7-foot ceilings in the hallway and shop lights in one of the bedrooms.  Someday soonish (betting on December) this area will also be home to the World HQ for my thriving little business, Caught Looking, Inc. and a walk-in closet that I will not be allowed to use.

Remember that scene in Lean on Me when Paterson, New Jersey’s East Side High fell into disrepair before your very eyes only to later be redeemed by Principal Joe Clark (Morgan Freeman) using unconventional methods that showed he really did care?  If not (don’t worry, Shannon has no idea what I’m talking about either), the following short film will probably make little sense to you but watch it anyway.

Warning:  If you don’t like Guns N Roses (or you happen to be my Dad*) you might want to kill the volume.  Rest assured it will not ruin your appreciation of the “art”.

*Just kidding, Dad.  Love you!  But, seriously, turn the music off.

Via Corona Upstairs

(Disclaimers:  1.)  Now you can see why I hire some of the best editors in the world to do my bidding.  2.)  Sorry for the abrupt edit on the ending, but if you thought I was going to do a full-length video you’ve greatly misjudged how much effort I’m putting into these posts).

Today we’re also introducing a new segment:  The TMH Mail Bag!

Screen Shot 2016-07-10 at 6.57.24 PMOn the heels of our treasured items raking in exactly zero million dollars at auction comes this article from the hoity-toity New York Times, sent in by eager reader Sarita D. from Hawthorn Woods, Illinois.

TL;dr – Sometimes people leave stuff and it’s worth something more than the steaming pile of jack squat we were left with.  Here’s the money quote from Gerard “Captain Obvious” Splendore . . .

“It seems to me that sellers always leave something, and buyers are usually appalled,” said Gerard Splendore, an associate broker in the Brooklyn Heights office of Halstead Property. “They don’t see it as a windfall. They don’t want somebody else’s stuff.”

Thanks, Sarita!  Keep the info coming.

Finally, our parody of The Who’s My Generation inspired songsmith James P. C. from Scotch Plains, New Jersey to pen this little ditty to the tune of The Who’s 1978 hit, Who Are You?  Please enjoy and keep The Who parodies coming as well.  No one has yet covered I Can See For Miles, Baba O’Riley or Eminence Front – which is one of my top 10 favorite songs of all-time.

What’d we do?
Fools, Fools, Fools, Fools!
What’d we do?
Fools, Fools, Fools, Fools!

What’d we do?
Fools, Fools, Fools, Fools!What’d we do?Fools, Fools, Fools, Fools!

I woke in our Redondo beachouse,
The Pacific knew our name
It said “You must go sleep at Via Corona tonight”
“You bought it, must be insane”

I staggered back to that f*cking dump
And tripped on a broken stair
I remember it needed new plumbing & electric
And a million other repairs

[chorus:]
Well, what’d  do? (What’d we do? Fools, Fools, Fools, Fools)
I really have no dough (What’d we do? Fools, Fools, Fools, Fools)
Tell me, what’d we do? (What’d we do? Fools, Fools, Fools, Fools)
‘Cause we really have no dough (What’d we do? Fools, Fools, Fools, Fools)

I took the 5 back out of town
Arrived at my condemned house
Felt a little like crying, man
Our dream home dream was doused

I walked in and banged my head,
Why are these ceilings so fucking low?,
Put my foot through this broken floor,
This whole house has got to go
[chorus:]
Well, what’d  do? (What’d we do? Fools, Fools, Fools, Fools)
We really have no dough (What’d we do? Fools, Fools, Fools, Fools)
Tell me, what’d we do? (What’d we do? Fools, Fools, Fools, Fools)
‘Cause we really have no dough (What’d we do? Fools, Fools, Fools, Fools)
What’d we do?
Ooh wa ooh wa ooh wa ooh wa …
Well, what’d  do? (What’d we do? Fools, Fools, Fools, Fools)
We really have no dough (What’d we do? Fools, Fools, Fools, Fools)
Tell me, what the f*ck did we do? (What’d we do? Fools, Fools, Fools, Fools)
‘Cause we really have no dough (What’d we do? Fools, Fools, Fools, Fools)

Thanks, James.  It’s only rock n’ roll, but I like it.  Great to hear from readers in New Jersey.  Hopefully Mr. Richard Feder from Fort Lee will drop us a line sometime.  For the 7 of you that get that joke, please explain it to everyone else, or just click HERE.

That’s it for me.  Next week we’ll be back to the usual fare.  TMH explaining how to make a time machine out of a DeLorean and/or an edible concoction with quinoa (pronounced QUEEN-oh) and lentils (Hint:  liberal use of frosting).  
Leaving you with an architectural drawing of the house in case you want to storm the compound with Seal Team Six.
Screen Shot 2016-07-10 at 6.49.26 PM
In case you’re still baffled by the Lean on Me reference.  Click HERE.
Want to read more about our renovation adventures? Go here: Via Corona

2 thoughts on “Appetite for destruction – Part Deux”

  1. You two should have your own series on HGTV. You could replace Tiny Houses. After all, I ask you, who in the hell wants to live in a closet?

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